You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
