Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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