I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
