Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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