i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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