I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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