Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
actually, I'm a sock model
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I love you. Go after that dick
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
