The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
