So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
sarcasm needs its own font
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
