I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
