Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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