if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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