We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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