Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
