you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
two words: eviction party
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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