remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
