i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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