I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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