Got a toothbrush?
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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