Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

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(972): View more from Texas

Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep

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(440): View more from Ohio

Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue

Fav 27 1519 5277
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(907): View more from Alaska

I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.

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(415): View more from California

Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?

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(217): View more from Illinois

He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.

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