he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
