Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
The air taste purple.
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