but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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