Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
