I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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