addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
