Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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