Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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