I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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