glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
