Need sex. Gaining weight.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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