ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
