is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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