Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize