Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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