At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
