Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
