Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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