I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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