If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
