It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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