8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
