i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
