So drunk its hurt
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
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