You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
