You really coming over, don't trick.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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