sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
