im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
