I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
