He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
