Your face is a jimmy john
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
love makes seman taste better
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
