I'm lost and stupid without you.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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