If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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