If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
