Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
