just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
