Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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