i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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