she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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