whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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