Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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