Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize