two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
